I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
