i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
