How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
