Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
