you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
