She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Less talking, more tequila
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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