absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
im six kinds of drunk right now
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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