He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
