glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
