i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
