nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
