Umm I'm too high to move.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize