I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
