I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
