is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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