pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
