but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
