Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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