you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
