Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize