they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
