she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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