I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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