I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
