I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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