Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
