dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
