Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
