we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
