She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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