he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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