If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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