Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
