Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
