You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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