Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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