i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
