just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
