I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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