Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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