Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
