I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Two words: blizzard sex
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
