That's intense
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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