I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
