Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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