is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
