I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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