I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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