How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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