I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
