Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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