You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
