what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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