we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
