it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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